U2 will record a version of “Where the Streets Have No Name” called “Where the Teams Have No Name” especially for Tony Fernandes.
Jérôme d’Ambrosio will score points in 2011 for MVR (I’ll eat my hair or run around any circuit in Spain or Portugal naked if he doesn’t – J-man, don’t let me down!)
Lewis Hamilton will put on weight due to mid (F1 driver) life crisis.
HRT will buy a Chinese copy of the Ferrari F10, repaint it and race in 2011 as their own chassis.
Mike Gascoyne will quit the team previously known as “Lotus Racing” to join Lada Sport.
Following Dakar’s example, F1 European Grand Prix is going to be held in… Siberia!
McLaren’s 2011 challenger will feature an innovative new device dubbed the “D-Fuct”. I’m not quite sure how to describe its function, maybe Farina’s spirit could enlighten me one of these days.
Mercedes will quit Formula 1.
Bernie Ecclestone will dye his hair orange.
The GP2 and GP3 series organisers will announce the creation of… GP4, GP5, GP6, GP7, GP8, GP9, and (finally) GP10 categories. GP10 will aim at toddlers who wish to impress F1 team bosses with their skills. Annual racing budgets will begin at £10.