Fake F1 scene became a cultural phenomenon on Twitter; today we bring you an exclusive interview with the leading lights of this movement, Fake Vivian and Fake Fernando. Enjoy and please leave your comments, we’d love to hear from you!
Q: There’s #FakeF1 and #FakeF1. What turns a fake into a really good one?
Fake Fernando: Dedication. Persistance. And no friends.
Fake Vivian: That is for you, Nando! I think a good fake starts by claiming he’s a fake!!! We don’t pretend to be a real person, I don’t want to be sued!!!
FF: And you really know you have made it as a fake when you get blocked by real life F1 stars you’ve never even spoken to (I’m looking at you, Lewis).
FV: And when real Rubens blocks you (because he blocks all fakes for no reason), and when real Lee McKenzie says we’re all pointless! You see, we are that famous!
Q: Fake Vivian, we noticed some great drawings on your personal blog (which unfortunately ceased to exist). Are you planning to publish those in a special book available to all #FakeF1 fans around the world?
FV: Well, thank you for the compliment! I’m a fake interior designer but, as you’ve seen. I’m also a fake fake cartoonist and a fake fake writer/journalist. But I don’t really plan to publish my drawings or articles anywhere, unless someone is interested and pays me lots to publish them!! For now, my fans can just look at my stuff on my blog fakevivian.tk *shameless self-promotion*).
FF: Drawing will get you nowhere in life. Stick to being a WAG, Vivian…
FV: You really think? Oh, shame…
Q: Every great culture has its own code (e.g. lexicon of grunge). Can you please tell our readers what’s cool and what’s not on the #FakeF1 scene?
FV: Of course there’s common speaking! For example, for sure, we have to say “for sure” when we speak to FakeMassa!
FF: And we all hate Sebastian. And pointy fingers. And Germans.
FV: YOU hate them, Nando!
FF: Eyebrows are very much in this year.
FV: Oh yes, all fans of Fernando must love his eyebrows!
FF: You must hate Germans to be in #FakeF1. It’s the rules (which I just made up).
FV: Oh yes, because Nando is actually like the big boss of Fake F1! (That’s what we make him think actually, otherwise he’s too annoying…).
FF: All hail Nando!
Q: Fake Fernando, any idea what you might want to do with your fake life once you retire from fake F1 racing? Also, how has driving for Fake Scuderia Ferrari (fake F1 giants) affected you personally? How does Fake Maranello compare to Fake Enstone or Fake Woking ?
FF: I assure you, I do not plan on doing a Schumi. After winning 6 consecutive WDCs, I will retire to the country and set up my own paella business. I do not think that driving for Ferrari has affected me. I am still the calm, selfless man I have always been who always plays by the rules and never loses his temper.
FV: Hahaha!! Sorry…
FF: Fake Maranello is fantastic! It is close to my home in Spain and is much warmer than Enstone or Woking . Woking was full of too much Lewis.
Q: Fake Fernando, you can skip this one if it’s not OK with Fake Ferrari’s fake press office, but what makes you really faster than FakeMassa?
FF: Team Orders. Next.
Q: Life in the fake F1 paddock can be tough, so how do you recharge your fake batteries and please talk about your favourite fake hobbies?
FF: I enjoy to “read”. Unfortunately, no longer with Raquel as I once did. I also like to plot revenge on my foes, devise ways to chop off pointy fingers and ride my pony through fields of daffodils.
FV: I think this question should also be for me, because life in the fake paddock is also very tough for a fake WAG. We have to be pretty, fashion and smiling all the time because photographers are hidden behind every motorhome, ready to shoot embarrassing photos of us!
I remember once I didn’t notice my dress was a bit transparent. But a photographer totally noticed and he published a photo of my bottom (real fact about real Vivian)! That was really embarrassing! So now I need to check twice if I’m perfect! THAT is a tough life!!!
Q: To both Fake Fernando and Fake Vivian, what do you think (I am) Ron Dennis (for real) would say about #FakeF1 movement had he ever found out about it?
FV: Who is Ron Dennis? I only know people who work with my fake boyfriend, Nico! There are too many people in the paddock, changing tyres or whatever, so I can’t know everybody!
FF: For sure, I know if he saw me, he would want to hire Nando for his team again! “Bye bye Jenson” he will say. And then Lewis will cry.
Q: Finally, you fake predictions for the Fake 2012 Fake FIA Fake Formula 1 Fake World Championship?
FV: I have NO doubts: my lovely Fake Nico will win the Fake Championship because he’s the best! (Yes, the job of a WAG is to support her boyfriend all the time, even when there’s no hope!).
FF: Poor deluded Vivian. It is clear her girlfriend Britney will not win the championship because he is allergic to winning. I will be the World Drivers’ Champion and Ferrari will reign supreme once more!!!
FV: Sometimes you’re so mean, Nando!
FF: It’s called honesty, Vivian…