A Right Old F2 Chinwag #BahranGP2


You know what they say, it ain’t over till the fat lady sings. That’s not to say thin/non-fat ladies can’t sing because they certainly can and do, they sing and dance beautifully – primarily in the beginning, that’s their speciality. Let’s imagine Dido had hypothetically sung in Spielberg, 03-05 July 2020, while Lizzo will for all one knows be singing at Sakhir, 04-06 December 2020? Via Zoom?

So while Lance Stroll was having a quick waz during the Bahrain GP quali, I was already toiling at calculating things relative to Formula 2 title showdown.

Oh en passant, have you noticed my extremely clever hashtag? Wowsers!

It’s sort of like #BahrainGP only it’s the second race, hence #BahrainGP2 and also a nice little homage to all the GP2 homies out there. Nico Rosberg, for example, who won his championship in 2005 in Bahrain. That’s GP2 Series, to all you genzy peeps out there, let’s face it: you were still busy pooping your pants or drooling uncontrollably at the time. It’s a practical yoke. I’m so funny/I’m #1, innit.

As the old saying goes, there’s a method to my madness and it’s very simple: slow and steady wins the race.

Can’t even begin to describe how cool those cars looked and sounded, the only minor safety issue being their relative lack of driver head protection compared to modern HALO-equipped F2 machinery. Still, folks used to race more carefully to avoid potentially nasty situations. A psychological HALO, if you will.

I mean, Grosjean’s mother and father of all shunt puts any past NASCAR or IndyCar incident to shame! Ryan Newman, Daytona 500? Not even close! But Iberianmph crew are just glad everyone’s OK, no more crazy shunts please.

Now, we’re getting close to the main subject of our e-book. I think I got carried away slightly.

Let’s check it who’s who in dis 2020 Formula 2 drivers’ crown race B4 we wreck it.

Schumacher sits on 205 points at the top of the standings, Ilott’s got 191 points, Mazepin with 162 points, followed by Shwartzman’s net worth of 159 points, Tsunoda’s bottom of the pile, having scored 157 points so far.

You wanna know my opinion? As the best there is F2™/F3™ pundit, I say it’ll be settled on Saturday, we won’t even have to wait for the Sprint Race.

Who? 50/50 SCHU vs ILO. It’s gonna be more of a psychological guerrilla warfare, it’s more in the mind than in the body, if you catch my Keiichi Tsuchiya drift. The first one to drop the ball will come the first of the losers, i.e. second.

Assuming that Mick is joining HAAS™ F1™®© and his contract with the Italo-American outfit is rumoured to be signed, sealed and delivered to the Contract Recognition Board, he can afford to finish the season as vice-champion. Won’t make any difference at all. There’s quite a bit of Schumacher name pride and prestige involved on the other hand. Should Callum prevail, we’ll miss him in F2 in 2021 as he won’t be allowed to compete as per Bruno Michel rules (= reigning F2 champs go to F1).

Being a year one champion (it is he, Leclerc!) always adds more weight/market value to the driver’s reputation, time is sponsorship money. If a guy does it in his second or – WTF! – fifth year (Davide, we still love you as a brilliant commentator), that can only signify one thing: the main opposition was weak and they only needed to apply some basic skills acquired over the ‘rehearsal’ years, be a smoooooth operator, à la Carlitos Sainz, to make it happen. These are your future top 20 F1 stars and occasional one-hit podium wonders when everything comes together on a good day after 15 drivers in front either retire or run like a really bad strategy during a mad Monaco or Canadian Grand Prix. Spoiler alert, if your top 20 guy’s an Aussie, don’t count on such luck in Melbourne: engine is likely to explode 100 metres away from the finish line, with both front and rear brakes completely locked.

Answering Sergio’s question from Friday (and based on the previous paragraph), I’d sign Shwartzman and Tsunoda for my Whatever Formula 1 Team. Sorry, Mick boys and girls. TSU is like a rough diamond, although I’m sure the Iron Franz and Co could use HAAS Automation machine tools to ‘flay him into shape’. #WinkWink It’s another friendly yoke. I’m positive they treat their drivers ever so nicely down in Faenza. The Kanagawa Cannon might shoot far in F1. He’s an intriguing prospect, without doubt. Yuki’s a sound bloke and a right geezer.

Feel free to explore our previous F2 material from Bahrain by clicking HERE.

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