Nuestra Charla: 02/08/2020

Long time no Charla, folks! ‘Claire: OMG Tania this is gr8.’

Ultimately, dear droogs, this could be our last Charla as we’re in the process of expanding into new social media platforms to keep you entertained (on an almost daily basis) – not the stupid Tw@tter or Buttbook, I don’t even wanna charlar about those two hacked, lobotomised malfunctioning machines.

Screen grab: https://www.formula1.com/en/video/2020/7/FP1_Highlights__2020_British_Grand_Prix.html

Yeah, Silverstone. Do I enjoy the new GP circuit layout? Not really, it’s a tad too hybrid in a way, they do look sort of like bugs crawling all over the place, the beetles. Did I fancy the olden days’ pre-facelift configuration? I certainly did. But we love Silverstone as it is, all good under At_SilverstoneUK’s hood. It’s a very characterful track as of 2020, loads of character. I just wish they’d have gone and replaced Michael Masi with William Storey – he’d made up his own stewarding rules. WS could’ve taken the British GP to the next level: dunno, DSQ Mercedes for not having all-wheel drive? Okay, okay. It’s nonsense. F1 can’t take any of that, they have to fight capitalism and bad guys together with the Field Marshal Cinque Jr and new kids on the protesting block, I dubbed them ‘the greenwashing infiltrators’.

Formula 1, despite Liberty’s claims about bombastic last laps (medium to hard bombastic in my book of F1), obeyed the same old protocol: leaders break away from the start, a bit of muted DRS-assisted racing in the name of pride in the midfield, go to bed between lap 10 and the last couple of laps. Nothing to write home about. Haas and Grosjean really made my day, RG did weave and change his line under braking and it was dirty and that’s what I loved about it. The sport is too soft nowadays, there’s no Prost-Senna, no Villeneuve-Pironi, no Schumacher putting Hill out of a race on purpose. Where are all the bad guys? I must conclude there’s no country for dirty driving in Formula 1. Reliant Robin by Mercedes had also brightened up my day. Good fun. Make ’em tyres even more fragile please – I’m not joking.

In order to achieve something better in terms of general-admiral, all-embracing spectacle, the FIA should mandate spec dampers, front and rear wings and they should all run one and the same tyre compound, paint it orange and call it “la migliore gomma fottuta di Pirelli”. That’s it. No one will agree on my solution, however you can all go to Mars.

I’m a genius: I knew on Thursday that Hülkenberg would retire from the race even before the formation lap with a power unit problem and boy did he do exactly that? I specifically said: his engine would expire before exiting the garage pre-race (Otmar called it “a drivetrain seizure”, nuts and bolts, the birds and the bees) and I uttered these magic words full two days before it would eventually happen. Prophecy fulfilled! I can predict the F1 future. Always did. I’m an icon.

It’s hard to pick up between F2 and F3, I lean more towards F2 based on the size of the cars and GP2 connotations. The rebooted F3 still feels a bit raw, they need to break away from the classic F3 image with that sexy side air intake, etc.. It’s not easy, F3 does focus attention on a true quality driver field in 2020, they got good driver depth, for sure – comfortably the championship’s strongest point. Sexy rear wings? Oh yeah, I get pretty excited every time I see one.

It’s been a shockingly bad weekend for the (F2) championship leader Rob Shwartzman: big fat zero points in two races. Said RS on https://twitter.com/ShwartzmanRob/status/1289622668640022529?s=20: “Difficult race & weekend so far. Struggling with the tyre degradation but we need to understand where we’re losing so much ground. Time to try something new now.” You can’t afford it in F2, you gotta be on it every damn weekend. That’s when a driver can make a difference, that’s when top F2 teams come out on top. Congrats to the Uralic Cannonball, Mazepin, who was in the ballpark and having a ball in Siverstone, what a great ball of fire, it was a pretty baller time for the next quick Russian in F2 (and subsequently F1). He got the ball rolling by keeping his eye on the ball and he didn’t take his eye off the ball in the Sprint Race either. Our old interviewee F. Drugovich also left his mark on the British GP fan-less activities, pole position baby. It didn’t go so ($)well in the Feature Race, a minor issue for Drugo IMHO. He will, he will rock them next time out. And can Dan Ticktum do an Albon? Well, Albon’s DAMS to Toro Rosso jump I mean (as in axed ex-Red Bull junior driver to yes-Red Bull senior driver).

F3 meanwile paid homage to Alex Caffi and Footwork (Monaco, 1991, just google it): Ollie Caldwell and Lukas Dunner both had a fantastically lucky escape, check out the state of OC’s vehicle after the crash!