Boom-boom peeps, our weekly Charla is on. You get one proper paragraph and one proper paragraph only because I’m a lazy bastard.
Today’s subject is the Hungarian GP that never was, at least for F1. Formula 2 felt like its usual entertaining self, with weekend’s highlight being what I think is the first ever Russian (not RUSSIAN TIME, excuse the pun) one-two in the Feature race: beautiful, mega drives from both speedy Cossacks, SHWARTZMAN & MAZEPIN show. Amazing, fireworks in the sky. Um, spasibo. Herr Keith Schumacher pulling two podiums out of the hat at the scene of his maiden F2 win last year also caught my royal attention, top man. No fastest laps from my mate Roy Nissany tho, such a shame. I suppose F1 needs Roy more that Roy needs F1: imagine the Torpedo Jr (considering that Kvyat is Torpedo Sr) showing his class on lap one by launching a surprise attack and what it could do for poor old F1 in terms of entertainment? Wow, are you just as impressed as I am? Spectacle problem solved. The way things stood in Hungary, I fell asleep around lap 20 and then went for a power poop towards the end of the “race”. Man, are my turds exquisiste or what? (They are) Probably more exciting to watch than the Hungarian siesta GP. A bit of a copy-paste thing this 2014-2020 situation, innit. It leads me to believe that some peeps in charge of therapeutic decision making are basically not brave enough and don’t have the guts of Max Mosley to give the sport a cross-dressing spanking. Think 2004-2005 cycle, dunno. That was simple but to the point and quite effective, you see. Learn from the MASTER. F1 is like a cockroach-infested restaurant with terrible Tripadvisor reviews, your ideal candidate for Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares whose owner, in spite of obvious criticism, insists there’s nothing wrong with the place. Yeah sure, F1’s foray into Maoism, Castroism and Marxism-Leninism (a lot of fancy -isms, huh?) is highly exotic and unusual, however never say never. USSR folding after 70 years of equal opportunities for all was never expected. Oh wait, F1 70 – nice! F1 is as old as the USSR. Massive congrats, comrades! Then again, it bodes well for the Chinese GP I suppose, imagine the amount of octogenarian Chinese Chairman Mao fans watching F1 on pay-per-view F1 TV in 2020 and filling those empty grandstands at the Shanghai International Circuit in 2021, the Year of the Whopper? Well done, fellow communards.