Nuestra Charla: 07/07/2020


Another day, another Charla!

Ah, you were expecting me to write something Mark Hughes-esque, no? Exclusive paddock insider stuff, no? Telling you all about Ferrari’s deepest secrets, no? Or why did Vettel spin once again, no?

Well no.

Imma much-a better than that – I’m not gon’ compromise my Christianity. That’s a quote from Mozart’s La Finta Giardiniera (1775) of course. I listen to a lot different and diverse musical styles, for sure.

Today we’re gonna talk masks. Lexico powered by Oxford defines mask as (NOUN), 1) A covering for all or part of the face, worn as a disguise, or to amuse or frighten others and 2) A covering made of fibre or gauze and fitting over the nose and mouth to protect against air pollutants, or made of sterile gauze and worn to prevent infection of the wearer or (in surgery) of the patient.

So thanks to the miracle of screen grabs we’re staging a contest today: WHO WORE IT BETTER? Is he guilty or not guilty!

Our SGs come come courtesy of F1’s YT channel and my dog’s Huawei phone, they own rights to these images which my dog grabbed for me with his naughty little paws (it wasn’t me):

Let the fun begin.

And our winner is Kimi, that was easy to establish. Finno-Ugric (also Finno-Ugrian) approach paid off for the three-wheeling Finn and Alfa’s flying wheel.

The Phase Advancer Georgie Boy aka George Russell F1: he comes in at nº2. Note the richness of flavour, one guy, so many facial expressions.

RG is proudly parading the F1 neck F1 trend. That’s precisely what DC would look like if his physiognomy wasn’t so square. P3.

Full on Kev’s medical mask. P4 for H.C. Andersen’s spiritual descendent.

P5 for STR – François Cevert’s duplicate and the main reason behind Toro Rosso’s name change.

Ah, he talk-a with his hand-a, Daniele, no! P6 for future McLaren engine grenader. I just made that word up: it’s an F1 driver whose engines frequently grenade and go up in smoke.

The Dutch job. P7 for Daniel’s former team-mate and rival. I saw ‘cannabis cookies’ once.

Over the Austrian hills and far away. P8 for the next World Champion. Alex is staring into the future filled with more collisions with the Chosen One. Maybe not. The glass can be half full.

DK’s aiming at Ocon’s nose, no doubt. Crime is a disease, meet the cure: Kvyat’s Cobra will rock you. P9 for the Ufa Afterburner.

NL puts his words where his mouth is. What a nice mask! LAT is P10 and gets a virtual Iberianmph point.

Forget about it, c@zzo. Seb lands P11, meaning he finished where he started in Austria.

This ragazzo stole Adrian Sutil’s number. 99 reasons for Adrian to have a chat with Antonio at a bar… P12 for the plucky Italian.

We finally reach Le Chic Français section of our list. Esteban’s vogue is based off Clio Baccara. P13 for him.

Le Chic Français intensifies with PG: I detect certain shades of Jean-Louis Trintignant there. Très cool, quoi. P14, his lucky number.

It’s all about branding: B*tch please, Sergio’s from Guadalajara. P15 for the Mexican Eddie Jordan.

Lando, I am your father, no? Veloce Carlos splunks to P16. It’s not where he wants to be tho. He didn’t send it.

Smokey and the Bandit: Mercedes’s most expensive car part was not a happy camper. P17 for F1’s Leading Light.

Lando imagined what it’s like to chop an onion: Zak’s keeping the original trophy while Carlos Sai… Ray Norris’ most famous son gets a replica. But he’s in good company: Mika suffered a lot under Ron Dennis. P18 for Lando.

The Monaco Double Espresso was haulin’ *ss in his rather agricultural Ferrari. Love those black gills. Clever aero trick. Bet MPH Hughes knows nothing about it. P19.

He may have won on the road but he’s P-Last/P20 on our ‘masquerade’ list. #BOTTAS outfit reminds us of The ‘Winter War’ of 1939-1940 Finnish military uniform. He got sisu’d. It’s equally known as the Russo-Finnish War. You’re welcome. Now you can learn some real history with Iberianmph.

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