Iberianmph is delighted to announce its shock transformation into what will become known as the “RUSSIANmph” project, this latest twist in our 10-year history full of massive journalistic achievements is going to take effect immediately and without any further delay.
All staff members will be relocated to various cities across Russia so as to be able to provide exclusive bona fide coverage of multiple Russian national championships and series, with one particular focus being racing on ice in Siberia. Take that, fake news CNN-BBC Sport.
Said our oldest staffer Tony Hall: “Wow! I can’t even begin to describe my feelings, I’m so overwhelmed with emotions right now. My lifelong ambition of living and working in Siberia has finally been fulfilled, I can breath a sigh of relief.
“Of course, I am aware of the mosquitoes, cold weather and such, however I think we start this new chapter for the RUSSIANmph well prepared: our official vehicle of choice will be the ‘Machine screwing piles MZS-219’ from Omsktransmash. One simply cannot fail to emphasize and underline the importance of this screwing machine when trying to get to a remote ice-odrome, as they’re called down there. They also produce military tanks, but wouldn’t let me drive the Tank T-80UK (upgrading) on public roads, which is a bit of a shame. Access denied.
“That being said, all the mosquitoes will run in panic once I start that mighty 30.5-liter V22 diesel engine up!
“Siberia! Here we come!”
RUSSIANmph founder and editor, Cyril Nikitenko, commented: “I feel that the Western Civilization has reached its turning point and the cultural rot is apparent lock, stock, and barrel. I’ve had it up to here with this gretathunberg-esque balderdash of celebrity snowflakes and PC hybrid or electric culture destroying motor racing as we grew to know and love it during the golden age of F1 under Bernie Ecclestone’s rule.
“I want nice V10 engines running on leaded petrol and grid girls back, hence we’re moving to Russia for a bit of excitement shot in the arm.
“Enough is enough, we need to stand up to this hybrid abhorration and tweet BASTA!”
RUSSIANmph is also extremely pleased to confirm that it has partnered with the Russian State Fund for Non-essential Reading and our new book, entitled “Brezhnev – The General Secretary Who Liked to Stand on the Gas” and produced specifically for mental hospitals, will be available on Amazon soon, part of the Russian Storytelling opus, Volumes I & II.
If you managed to get this far, then you’re a reading ninja – congratulations and welcome to April Fool 2021 edition.
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